Simultaneously, we will prepare a short, poignant eulogy to mourn your demise. S: We will await your return with great anticipation. Secondly, in the rare cases where we have overcome our fear, and ventured to Spathiwa's surface, the Spathi who landed were all devoured painfully.Ĭ: Okay, I accept! Start packing your bags, eyeball dudes, you'll be home in no time. Firstly, we have an unreasoning fear that the Evil Ones will devour us all painfully. Spurred by our great need, we advanced from bronze to atomic technology in less than one of your centuries, but none of our innovations was a match for the Evil Ones' natural cunning and ferocity.įinally, with no other option available, we fled our world and took up residence here on our own moon, where we have resided, most uncomfortably, for the last three hundred years. We fled across the oceans, from continent to continent, but the evil ones always followed. Suddenly our culture became once more nomadic. They hunted our people - devoured them like tasty nodules, and we had no defense against them. We learned to write on clay tablets, and we were well on to being able to read those tablets when the Darkness fell upon us, when the Evil Ones came!Ĭreatures from the darkest pits of hell they were. During those golden centuries, we evolved from a primitive nomadic culture into a complex, agrarian society. Once upon a time, many thousands of years ago, we inhabited the warm, safe surface of our home planet, Spathiwa. S: Let us explain the sad history of our species. S: You must wipe the Evil Ones from the face of Spathiwa! S: Well, that would probably work, but I have a better idea - a test, one of those questy kind of things.Ĭ: Well, what kind of test do you have in mind? If you had, say, ten thousand similar starships, we could take your boasts more seriously.Ĭ: Look, what do I have to do to prove this to you - destroy your entire star fleet? A "Unique," meaning singular, starship is not equal to the task of destroying the entire Ur-Quan armada. S: Yes, your vessel is unique, and here is the crux of the problem. S: Hello! Hello! Awaken from your dreamy state Hunam! Now is the time for realism, not wild fancy!Ĭ: Yes, we ARE strong enough! Look at our Precursor vessel. They would most certainly punish us with extreme tortures.Ĭ: We're stronger than the Ur-Quan. S: We are too afraid of the Ur-Quan to consider such an alliance. In fact, if you held a vegetable to his head, he would probably say anything you wanted him to say.Ĭ: We offer our hand in friendship. S: If you held a weapon to Fwiffo's head, he would say anything you wanted him to say. S: And just where is this Spathi "friend" now? Never mind, the answer is all too obvious in your tiny, dry eyes.Ĭ: We have Fwiffo on board. Now, if you please, tell us how you acquired our most Secret Spathi Cypher, which every Spathi swears never, ever to reveal, even when threatened with considerable pain.Ĭ: We met a Spathi on Pluto.uh, we became good friends! You have given us the correct Cypher so you will not be destroyed immediately. S: We are the safe ones - the Spathi High Council.
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